WEDDING GIFT?
November 21, 2009 by
Filed under Make Wedding Gifts
I’m in my Sister’s marriage entrance up in 3 weeks. you have helped her with a planning. My father is personification a song for a marriage and dejaying a reception. you arrainged for my crony and myself to work a bar. Plus we’re examination their baby whilst they’re upon their honeymoon. My Mother asked me to go with to to collect out a benefaction for a wedding. you told her which my father and you were not removing her a benefaction since of all we’ve already have finished and will be doing. My Mother got dissapoint and pronounced you still had to get her a gift. So my subject is what is a protocall in this situatution? Do you need to go out and buy a gift?
I’m not angry about how most work we’ve put in to a wedding. I’m only wondering because my Mother thinks you need to get a gift.
I would get her something, but it doesn’t have to be expensive.
I do not believe that you need to get her a gift. Honestly, a gift at all is discretionary and is not REQUIRED. I am getting married as well and my sister is helping me quite a bit. And she is not providing bartending services and her husband is not providing the entertainment. I STILL would not expect a gift from her! The help is invaluable.
In your case, the help that you & your husband are providing is valuable. There is a tangible dollar value that you could apply to those services. Therefore, I don’t believe any gift is in order. Your sister should ABSOLUTELY understand that everything that you are doing for her and her fiance is to be considered a gift. You are very generous, I am sure your sister and her fiance are very appreciative!
I think if you can afford to get her a gift you should. If you cannot afford much, choose something more pratical that’s less expensive. Or perhaps even make something, but that takes time and you obviously are complaining about the time you’ve already spent. You should be helping because you love her, not to get out of giving her a gift. You could even talk to your sister, explain that you cant afford much (if that’s the issue) and I’m sure she’ll understand especially with all of your help. Weddings are not about gifts, but purposely not getting her something because you think you dont have to, might cause problems between you and your sis. Talk to her, leave your mother out of it.
Personally, I would say that is your call, not your mom’s. Seems as if your husband and you are doing plenty and I am thinking your sister will be more than thankful for all of it. She probably won’t even expect an extra gift on top of all of it. The babysitting is an especially nice gift..so many couples have to postpone their honeymoon due to a lack of child care or they have to take the child/children with them..what kind of honeymoon would that be??!! I know if I were your sister, I would be ecstatic about all you are doing and would not even want to accept any more from you!! Good luck with it and best wishes for your sis and her hubby
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I think that the services you & your husband provided count as wedding gifts. So far, you are giving her:
a DJ
a babysitter
2 bartenders
plus you’ve been helping her plan.
Unless you can EASILY afford to hand her a monetary gift as well, I would just give her a wedding card.
Since you are doing all these things, you are saving your sister tons and tons of money, I hope your sister appreciates it. I am sure she would not expect a gift, I wouldn’t. I would consider all the things you & your husband are doing is gift enough. don’t worry about what your mom says, this is between you and your sister. If you and your sister have the understanding then don’t worry about it. Have fun and enjoy the wedding.
You may be feeling like you’re doing a lot for her, and it sounds like you are; however, weddings are WORK!
I would definetly give her a “best wishes” gift. It doesn’t have to be big…maybe a gift card to her favorite store or a nice picture frame for their wedding picture??
u r doing alot and i’m sure ur sister notices and appreciates everybit of it but what ur doing isn’t costing u a dime, maybe ur time but not a dime.. so why not buy her a gift, just make it an inexpensive one….
me personally i probably wouldn’t get her anything.. she’d probably tell me not to worry bout it since i’m helping her out in many ways, but i personally would think it would be nice..
Sounds like you’re pretty close to your sister… sit down with her and tell her that you honestly consider the honeymoon babysitting, DJing, and bartending your gift to her. She will probably agree. Besides, your gift to her isn’t your mother’s business.
Miss Manners says that gifts are never to be expected – only graciously accepted.
If you feel what you and your husband are doing is your gift to her and her husband to be – then simply find a very nice card to express your sentiments on this very special day. I would think that your sister realizes that providing the music & dejaying as well as the babysitting represents a significant reduction in their cash outlay for their wedding.
She may not however. Hopefully she wouldn’t be so rude as to question you about “no gift”. But if she does that will be your opportunity for you to tactfully respond that you and your husband gave the “in-kind” gifts mentioned above and felt this showed your love and support. I guess you could make some kind of statement to this effect in the card. Or, an alternative is to still give them some small item which will be useful but not terribly expensive.
talk to your sister and explain the situation to her. ask her if instead of getting her a wedding gift, since you’re doing all the other things, if you can offer to babysit a few times a month so that she and her new husband can have some time together. that may be better appreciated than a toaster or a blender.
Absolutely! And because you are close to the bride, it must be $125 or more, at the very least. You should not consider your efforts on the wedding as your “gift” – your efforts are simply because she’s your sister, you love her, and you want to help her. If it was your wedding, I can guarantee you would expect a gift. Step into her shoes and think about how much it’s costing for everyone to eat and drink. Be more considerate.
I would suggest a gas card. It can be a small gift, but it’s useful.
Good luck!
well i am selling this pink furry picture frame.on ebay if you want to buy it.i am from malaysia by the way.
I would make her something…from the heart!
Go to walmart or any craft store and buy a tall pillar candle and glue her invitation to the side of it and adorn it with sequins , glitter, lace, rick-rack, silk flowers to match the colors of the wedding. Do a good job, take your time. Then put a card on the gift, with what a sister means to you and you hope she is on her way to happiness! Inexpensive, but yet sentimental, and you all are happy, sister, mom and you (Do it just to save face) One day… and it seems like they(mom & sis) are relying on you to make it happen without flaw. Good luck to you all, and Chins UP!
No, you do not need to buy her anything or give her any money. Take watching the kid as the gift. If you want you can write that in the card to her so that it is clear why you are not giving money. You mom is steping over the line with this one. Just don’t mention it anymore. She is not going to be keeping track of who gave what to your sister. And it is none of her business what you and your husband are giving. You are doing enough work by helping her save money. Your sister should be apreciative of everything that you and your husband are doing. I wish I had such a nice sister!
Things I have learned in dealing with wedding issues: everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but it isn’t necessarily right. Take it as a grain of salt. You are doing so much for your sister, and unless she is the kind of person who thinks she SHOULD still get a gift, then I wouldn’t worry about what your mom says. Even so, if your sister thinks she will be receiving a gift after all you have done, then she is just being greedy. Hopefully she understands. Don’t listen to everything everyone says all the time. Listen to what people say and use the information or leave it to form your own ideas and opinions on matters. I wouldn’t bring up the gift issue with your mom to avoid stress. If she asks about it, just tell her you are have taken care of it. If she still presses you for details just tell her you got something that only the three of you want to know about it. Maybe your sister could explain to your mother that a gift isn’t necessary especially for all that you are doing for her.
The main point, do what you thing in the best thing.
And remember, parents are NOT always right.
Why don’t you send them flowers or something? You are going way above and beyond the call of duty, and they shouldn’t expect any more. I wish I had someone like you at my wedding! Wow!
You are in your sister’s wedding, your hubby is assisting with the music, and your friend is helping out.
Lady, you are the most excellent support group there can be for a sister especially for the most important time in her life. I commend you for that highly! God bless you.
If you like, get a present for your sister, but the memories of you and your family helping her are priceless!
Maybe she feels like you should still buy her a gift because no matter what effort you are doing to contribute to the wedding, your sister still deserves a gift to start off her new life being married.
Of course wedding gifts are discretionary. That said – the point of a wedding gift is not to prove how much you have done for/spent on someone; rather, a wedding gift is a token of your love, support and well-wishes for the newly betrothed couple.
You have been a great sister to go to such lengths to help your sister plan and execute her big day! And although you certainly are not required to give a tangible gift, wouldn’t you like to give them something meaningful that they’ll both keep and revere forever? It need not be expensive; it need not even be store bought – but a tangible wedding gift would certainly be a nice and appropriate gesture.
Wedding gifts are never mandatory.
However, she IS your sister and I think it would be strange if you didn’t at least get her some small momento-type gift, out of sentiment. Maybe something as simple as a nice picture frame, engraved or not.
Of course you need to get a gift. Just because you are helping out with the wedding – which is what family does, happily and willingly – doesn’t excuse you from this. Don’t you want them to have something chosen specially by you?